Finally crawling!

This week Beatrice has started crawling! It has been a long time coming in our household as she's been getting frustrated more and more recently. She started to be able to drag herself around a room a few weeks ago but still couldn't understand how to move forward. Little did I know all it took was a crawling lesson with our friends. One of the other mums showed me how she 'taught' her little one to crawl. Whether or not this was the key, or it was just coincidental timing it really doesn't matter because IT WORKED! She showed me how to move her arms and legs in the movement of crawling, getting down next to her and doing it alongside her. Call me crazy but it was genius! Babies learn from watching us do things, they learn words from us speaking, they learn to walk from watching us also. However crawling is something we don't tend to do (unless drunk and crawling up the stairs after a heavy one – obviously pre-baby). A few days after our 'lesson' she decided to do it all by herself. I was a super proud mama and was screaming with excitement and all I could see was Beatrice lighting up with the knowledge of being able to access the whole world. One small step for us, one massive step for Beatrice.
C.

Four month sleep regression

I’m not even sure where to start here, do I start with the sleepless nights? The huge bags under my eyes? The baby who has stopped sleeping all together? (Okay maybe that’s an exaduration) The four month sleep regression hit us early, I think it was about 3 months and 1 week when Bea decided to wake every two hours in the night. Dont get me wrong she’s never slept through, we would normally have about two/three night feeds (breastfeeding problems). The regression hit our household hard, it’s something that I had heard on the mum grapevine but had never really looked into until it happened! It was a tough few weeks, but let me say to all you mumma’s out there currently going through it. IT ENDS! Although it may feel like it never will, or will only end when you collapse, I promise it does end. I can’t really give any advice as to how to get through it other than lots of coffee, tag teaming (if you’re lucky enough to be able to) and sleep when the baby does (Easier said than done I know). It lasted around 4/5 weeks and slowly  got better, she would last around three hours instead of two and slowly get longer and longer naps. I managed to sleep lots when she took her naps, although not all of them even the afternoon nap with us both safety lying on the bed stopped me from becoming a total nightmare especially for my partner when he returned from work! Bea did amazing, she spent a bit of the time grumpy and upset by the lack of sleep, however spent the other learning and developing new incredible skills. It was like every week the regression was here she learnt something new. It’s tiring, tough and challenges you in every was, sleep deprivation almost makes a reappearance and you feel like you have a newborn in the house again. However as all things to do with parenting you have to take it as it comes and expect the next day to be different than the last. Or so you hoped. Hopefully this post has given a true insight into the regression (sorry) and showed you that whatever you’re doing keep doing. Don’t give up, and be strong! (Plus by a nespresso machine, you’ll need it) 

C. 

New mum friends

For many new mums the thought of meeting new friends with babies of similar age can seem really daunting. I know that when we first found out that we were pregnant I was instantly worried that I would have no-one to share my stories with, or no-one to ask advice as I was/am the first out of my friends to have a baby. With the news of becoming pregnant and moving to an entirely new area on the cards I was very anxious of becoming lonely and it affecting how I would be as a mum. Through the advice of others I signed Alex and I up to attend the NCT antenatal groups. This was one of the best decisions I could have made, and I would HIGHLY recommend it to any pregnant families. Through NCT I met 8 other wonderful ladies, all first time mums with all the same fears and worries that I had. Of course I didn’t expect to become best friends with everyone, however amazingly we have all become very close. We have a WhatsApp group of which we started when we were awaiting our little bundle of joys to arrive (this was great although when you become 9 days overdue and everyone is having babies its tough!) We share our thoughts and advice with each other and try to reassure when someones worried. The group really started to bond when the babies arrived and we were all up in the middle of the night feeding, having someone to chat to was so important. I think our partners appreciated the fact we stopped waking them up to chat as we knew we had the group to chat on with other people in the same boat. We have seen each other most days since the babies have arrived, its incredible watching so many babies grow up and share their ‘firsts’ with your own child. These friendships may not last forever (although I am hoping they do) but for now atleast these ladies have helped me through many tough days, and allowed me to share so many great memories with them. So if you are a first time mum, or even a second or third do join different groups, its amazing how much support you can give each other and how much we all need it. Parenting can become very lonely, something that I think many people don’t realise, especially if you don’t have family near you (like myself). Making mum friends may seem scary and impossible but next time you’re sat across from another mum in a coffee shop, do start talking, do reach out because you never know how they are feeling and how they would probably love a new friend also.
C.

 

Failing as a mum

Today has been one of those days were I feel like I’ve failed as a mum. Not because I’ve done anything in particular, just because I feel like I haven’t done enough. I’ve woken up after being up 5 times through the night feeding (welcome to our lives four month sleep regression). I’m totally physically and mentally exhausted, alex has left for work and it’s just me and bea. I’m praying and hoping that at 8am I can trick her into thinking it’s still night time and going back to sleep for another hour. No. Instead she whinges and talks for England just enough to make me pick her up and get out of bed. I’m struggling, like really struggling to even keep my eyes open let alone entertain a baby. Unfortunately I think the teething process has started up again, and what can only be described as a cat howling are the sounds that Bea is making. I feel for her I really do, I mean when my wisdom teeth came through I felt like the world was ending. That was only four teeth! This poor gal has a whole mouth about to erupt. Parenting requires one thing, patience. Anyone who knows me will realise this is something I lack, whether it’s sitting in traffic or queuing to pay. Unfortunately you don’t have a choice as a parent, patience has to be there because you’re not waiting for a stranger, you are waiting for someone you love with every bone in your body. Today I lacked patience. I tried so hard not to break down every time Bea whinged and cried. I felt awful for putting her in her swing whilst I sat on the sofa in tears, I know it’s just a phase. I know it’s the lack of sleep over the last 2 weeks but somewhere in you’re mind you always think about the big PD word. I mean you sit and wonder “maybe I shouldn’t feel like this?” “Am I not coping?” “How do other people feel so happy all the time?”. The truth being is I am normally happy, but days like today test you as not only a person, a mother, a carer and a partner. Thankfully I managed to get Bea down for a nap at 11, for 2 WHOLE HOURS. (Even if she was attached to the boob, in my bed) it was glorious and just what we both needed. Once waking we spent the rest of our day waiting for daddy to come home. I spent hours trying to entertain her whilst attempting to eat and sit down. All I wanted was a bloody cup of tea! Today I felt like I failed, I felt like I achieved nothing, I felt like I couldn’t help Bea when she was in pain, I couldn’t tidy the house and do the washing up. I felt like I didn’t get to take Bea out anywhere and let her see the world. I felt like I allowed my patience and composure to slip which made me feel like a terrible mum. It’s something you can never understand before becoming a parent, and something that even as a parent you never really do. I just hope I’m not the only one out there who has “these” days. I’m hoping that I’m not the only one who feels like they failed at parenting today. C.

#failedparenting #mumlife