Life update: Returned to work, Beatrice turned one, starting nursery & moving house.
It has been a crazy 6 months since I last updated the blog, it has been full of the wild, wonderful and emotional situations that family life brings. Since we last spoke I have returned to work on a part time basis which is well.. work. When I first returned to work we put Beatrice into nursery for one day a week, this led to two months of a household of sickness and diarrhoea (ABSOLUTE VOM FEST). It resulted in us taking her out of nursery and having my mother in law look after her. This was one of the most stressful experiences we have been through, I hated the thought of going back to work so much that it triggered all sorts of anxiety that I never knew I had. I was going from never leaving Beatrice for more than one hour in her whole life to leaving her for 10 hours. It was tough on us all, that mixed in with the massive spouts of illness’ that we all got. I mean waking up to vomit in the bathroom and returning to bed to breastfeed (TMI) night after night. IT WAS HORRIFIC. Once we took Beatrice out of nursery the sickness stopped (coincidence or not?) either way it was the best decision we could have made. She now spends time with her Yaiyai every week, none of us get multiple sick bugs its a win win.
Returning to work is a strange feeling, you go from being on top of your game before you leave to returning with a brain full of mush and hardly remember codes to get through doors. People give you a few weeks to settle and then assume it all comes back, however I have realised this is not the case. Not only does your brain take forever (16 months to be exact) to return to normal you are also known as a MUM all the time. Obviously this statement is correct however in the work place it can be seen as a belittling, “lazy” and emotional state. Im pining to find a work that gives me fulfilment and although it will never make me feel the happiness I feel when I’m at home with Beatrice, there has to be something close right? Maybe thats not true, but I can ponder.
Beatrice has grown so much in the last few months (OBVIOUSLY YOUR THINKING BABIES GROW UP DUH, ITS NATURE) but I mean its crazy how much she has changed. We have finally settled down and started to just enjoy each day as it comes.
So that’s you all caught up, onwards and upwards!